There are only so many hours in a day.
Sad, but true.
We’ve run across quite a few different people in the lifestyle so far, and everyone has their own circumstances that dictate how they navigate the world of ethical non-monogamy.
As I pointed out a couple of days ago, we don’t do the spontaneous thing. This is partly due to us wanting to know others a little bit before jumping into bed with them. Another facet that dictates this pace for us is our life situation. Each of us have full-time jobs. And we have four children between the ages of 5 and 15. The result is very little down time.
In fact, we have to plan everything. What we’re having for dinner throughout the week. Who is packing their lunch the next day, and who is buying. Which laundry needs to be done when. Sports practices. Sporting events. Choir concerts. Sleep overs. Birthday parties. School dances. The list goes on and on.
So to receive a message at 6pm on a Saturday night asking us if we want to get together is so inconceivable to us that it’s laughable.
No lie. We actually laugh.
This is not meant to be a judgement on those who can and do live a life of spontaneity and adventure. It’s just not possible for us.
We feel there are several different factors that can impact adult playtime. A major one is shared parenting. We have met several couples who are on their second marriage, or who aren’t married at all, who share parenting responsibilities with their ex’s. God love ’em! Generally they are without children every other weekend, giving them a regular and predictable chunk of free time every other Friday and Saturday night. It’s just not our reality.
Then there are those who have no children. They are free to play every weekend if they so choose, unless work gets in the way. Hell, they are often able to play during the week as well!
Even scouring the websites for compatible playmates takes time. Lots of it if you really want to dig deep. Would I rather do that than pack lunches and check with homework? You bet your sweet ass. But duty calls.
On June 11th we are venturing to Champagne in Fort Wayne for their annual event called the White Affair. It’s one of their biggest events and kicks off summer. We went last year and really enjoyed it. But even with six weeks notice, it has taken some serious planning. Fortunately the oldest is old enough to watch the siblings, so child care is taken care of. But then there is the wedding of one of our relatives that his happening over two hours away from Champagne.
This is going to take some serious driving, some serious time, but it’s worth it.