Won’t you at least buy me dinner first?

If you have spent any time in the swinger lifestyle, you are aware that there are as many methods as there are swingers.  Everyone has their own agenda, boundaries, kinks, desires and expectations.

Essentially it’s like playing a sport, like football, where everyone has a slightly different set of rules.  It makes it exceedingly difficult to know what to expect at any given time.

Mrs. P and I aren’t what is referred to as “bed hoppers”.  Well, I’m a bit of a slut, but she’s not.  We love sex, but we like to get to know people a little bit first.  And while I am much more impulsive and adventurous, I have my limitations as well.

Over the past four days we have received two different messages that illustrate my point.  First, on Thursday night while we were travelling out of town we received a PM on SLS.  The message was literally this:  “Nice tits!  Are you interested?”

Uh, thanks.  And are we interested in what, exactly?

First off I need to mention that we very clearly outline our preferences and expectations in our profiles on both sites, a practice I recommended in my post about swinger websites.  I’m serious.  We make it so easy.  We both have our types, and it is clearly stated.

So, this person obviously didn’t read our profile, because he was not our type.  In any conceivable way.

In addition, what kind of pick up line is that?  Basically he was saying, “Nice tits.  Wanna fuck?”  Um…no.  I read his profile out of curiosity and found it very entertaining.  He is in his early 50’s, with a 27 year old “girlfriend”.  Of course there are no pictures of them together, because they’re likely not a couple.  This girl was so far out of his league it was laughable.  Basically, she’s the bait.  And then she’s not available when it’s time to play.  But we can still have a threesome!

He also mentioned that he could fuck for a long time, with reasonable frequent rest breaks.  I suppose it’s good to know your own limitations.

Finally, he made it clear that he had no interest in any sort of conversation.  Just fucking.  And only at seedy hotels located near the highway.  And only after a snack at a local eatery.

As tempting as it was to take him up on it (sarcasm alert) we decided to reply with “No thanks.”

On Saturday night we received a message from a younger couple.  Again, they didn’t read our profile or they would know that we don’t play on short notice due to having kids, and because we need to know someone a little before we make that move.  In addition, he was not Mrs. P’s type.  She’s a relatively tall woman, and she prefers a man taller than her, with a larger build.  This guy was considerably smaller than her.  Tiny.  Not her type.  Read the profile.

Anyway, this mail came through on SZC.  The message said, “Are you interested in playing some cards, having a few drinks, and maybe an orgy tonight?”


I literally could not get this line from Anchorman out of my head.  So, we’ll play some cards, have a few drinks, then get to fucking?  Great!!!!

Needless to say, we declined that offer as well.

Ultimately it is difficult to find someone who’s rules match up with your own.  But by staying true to your own boundaries and not compromising on what it is you are looking for, I believe you will provide a better experience for yourself in the long run.


3 thoughts on “Won’t you at least buy me dinner first?

    • I couldn’t agree more. Mrs. P has experienced some interactions that border on sinister. It really is a concern, and is part of the reason that she would never meet anyone alone. Pic hunters are everywhere, as well as those who are just looking to get off, and will do literally anything to satisfy that agenda.


  1. Pingback: Where will I ever find the time? | polyswingerish

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